还是找你

接到颐法师的电邮，说忍法师（外婆）身体很弱，问：医生是不是说我可以走了？
颐法师着她跟着光。然后叮咛我们，这时候，给外婆念弥陀佛号。

我读了电邮，抖着声音给哥哥和老弟打电话。不懂要如何告诉妈妈。

然后我带着理性进实验室。发现自己很想哭。
然后，我还是key in 了你的号码，告诉你，我很难过。

你那句：祝福你。让我憋着的眼泪，流下来了。

过后，我好了，继续进行试验。然后也发愿这段时间，无论外婆自己的决定如何，我会依外婆想要的方式，一步一句弥陀。吃素。
我平静下来了。

力量，是来自哪滴终于冲出来的眼泪，还是来自你？

在苦痛的时候，想起的，还是你，我无法不承认，心里，也许还存有你。

Why Oh Why
By: Juwita Suwito

The moment I can't pretend
The sorry I should have said
The thought of you being in despair
Tears my heart up right away
I just wasn’t prepared

Imperfection that’s what I am
Confusion just to get sad
I guess that I shouldn’t pretend to love you anyway
I won’t give up again

So tell me why oh why
Should there be a reason to love
Why oh why
I don’t need another
I want nothing else but being with you
And with you I know why

The one thing I’ll take with me
The eyes that smile so tenderly
Every time I think about you
You may carry things seem right
You make wishes come true

So tell me why oh why
Should there be a reason to love
Why oh why
I don’t need another
I want nothing else but being with you
And with you I know why

If only I knew what you need was some love
I would have given you the best that you deserve
There’s no one else I’d rather share my life than with you
Think of what’s between us
And love will help to guide us

Why oh why
Should there be a reason to love
Why oh why
I don’t need another
I want nothing else but being with you
And with you I know why